Dear Abby: Should I enter relationship for the money?
Dear Abby I have been divorced from my ex-husband Cliff for a year and a half My nearly adult children live with me They rarely see their dad Our divorce was relatively painless but the custody battle was prolonged and majority of of my savings were drained in the process Cliff pays child encouragement but I m still struggling financially to raise two growing teenagers and I m worried about them going off to college A inadequate months ago I reconnected with a childhood friend I ll call Rob We have rediscovered our friendship and see each other often He in the past few days expressed interest in a romantic relationship Abby I m still in love with my ex-husband It wasn t my choice to separate and although Rob is very sweet I don t feel at ease moving on so swiftly However he has a high-paying job and when we occasionally go out to dinner he reliably pays the bill I m afraid I won t be able to afford my kids college without his financial endorsement I m torn between my love for my children and my continued love for my ex-husband Should I pursue this relationship even though I don t feel the same Anguished in Albuquerque Dear Anguished Tell Rob you are still not over your divorce and while you like him very much and enjoy his company you are not ready for a romantic relationship It is the truth and he deserves that As to the fact that you think you still love the husband who required the divorce it s time to accept that the marriage is history Once you do that you may find a future with Rob more to your liking Dear Abby I am someone who calls friends but they never call back When I call they are happy to hear from me the conversations are lively and fun and the friends say they love it when I call I do not call often and I don t feel I m making a nuisance of myself However like I explained they DON T CALL BACK I can understand not hearing from newer friends but I resent not hearing from ones I ve had my whole life I could have died and they couldn t bother to find out if I m OK or get an update on my life I know I should drop them and move on but I can t I need help with that These are people I ve never had a cross word with Something it could be an upcoming holiday reminds me of them and I want to make contact Why do people do this to people they say they love and care about Perplexed in Florida Dear Perplexed People behave this way because they are stressed busy or distracted Bulk of the time it isn t personal Not everyone is a caller like you are If you want to maintain these relationships you have to be prepared to do the calling I m not saying this to be judgmental or to make excuses for them it s just a fact of life Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren also known as Jeanne Phillips and was founded by her mother Pauline Phillips Contact Dear Abby at www DearAbby com or P O Box Los Angeles CA
